Doblog 2...

At this time, I really should give up Doblog... Doblog seems to be totally abandoned without repairs...

It is easy to change my blog into Blogger. But one thing I was worried about is that I cannot leave the message about my moving because I can't post any articles on doblog... So I really hope that Doblog will recover the service of posting as soon as possible. One posting is ok for me now...

Let me change the story. Today I went to take the Toefl exam. Actually I can say that I have got used to this test. I, however, do not get used to speaking section.

Today's speaking exam was really hard for me. At the first question, I wanted to have many coughs, and as a result I couldn't answer with any satisfaction. Also at the following question, I couldn't come up with good expressions and felt suffered.

I have little idea on how I can speak what I want to say more frequently. I can express what I want through writing like this blog, but not through speaking. Maybe this owes that I rarely speak English in recent situations, and I need to go to anywhere I can speak English such as some kind of school or so.

I felt overwhelmed by today's speaking test and lost my confidence, which is originally really little...

I actually feel dumped because I can't stop my idea that I can do nothing even if I try various things. Recently, I can't stop feeling that I am the bad person who has no ability.

Kept suffering from such ideas, I barely found a stream of light that today's experience make me remember that I need to try again. And I believe that keeping efforts should make me better than doing nothing. I have no alternatives but do keep my efforts. And keeping efforts definitely will support mentally.

As my last goal, I hope that I can enjoy my efforts. I know that for this goal I need to recover my mental state for the time of being. But, anyhow, it is a kind of ideal if I can enjoy a process toward my dream. And anyway now, I'm keeping telling myself that happiness will come by itself if I keep doing what I decide on I should do. And keeping efforts make me forget a lot of hardships in everyday life, and will save me eventually.