ダンス・ダンス・ダンス 村上春樹より

まだ手遅れになって いないものもあるはずだ。使えるものは全部使うんだよ。


I don't want to write the following because doing so by itself brings cutting pain to me. In spite of that I feel I need to write, as I don't forget what is sadness.

A friend told me on a story of a housewife who laughed just after her husband died. Why she did so? That's because sorrow is bottomless. If she doesn't laugh, a deep, dark, bottomless depression just takes her. In short, she "had to" laugh.

A person stand on a very fragile floor. Once it broken, just fallen. A person can be fallen deeper and deeper. This is not only one person's story, but everyone has such possibilities as same.

At present actually I do not have any effective prescriptions against sorrowness although I hope I have. I am still in the dark well. Someone says to me that time soothes everything. Another says "just forget everything except for saving yourself." I think both of them are correct.

Everytime I have a free time, sorrow penetrates and torments me chronically. Maybe this continues for a while (admitting this is also a pain.) But, I want to hope strongly I should not be a heroine of a tragedy. I am really happy to have a family and friends, who are so nice to me. And this kind of sadness could happen to everyone, who lives with such sadness together, but they're so strong and bright. I have to be a person who can save others' sadness. In order to be so, I need to know what is sadness, live with them and laugh.

Still I'm at a loss and I can't think anything well. Only I can say is I just have something to do just now. So at the time like this I believe the best way is just dancing, dancing better.



This is a farewell song.